Oh, yesterday I read an old post on the blog Seekerville (http://seekerville.blogspot.com/) by Bob Mayer on writers feeling like a fraud and believing in oneself. I know this is not unique to writers. I think it must be a human trait because I have seen this mentioned by people in all walks of life. I have felt it myself. When I was young (high school young) I was a ballet dancer. I was pretty good. Went to NYC for auditions and won 4 scholarships to 4 of the best ballet schools (Joffrey, ABT, SAB and Harkness for any ballet aficionados.) So, I had some talent. BUT...in the back of my mind was always this fear that one day a teacher was going to find out that I was only good because I was doing it wrong; that I was a fraud. And once they discovered that and made me do it the "right" way, I'd be no good. I used to have dreams about it.
So, when those doubts start to poke at me on my writing journey, I try to focus on how my writing makes me feel. Am I proud of it? Does what I write and the process of writing make me happy? So far, the answer is yes. My learning curve is going in the right direction. Would I like for other people to get pleasure from reading my work? More than a little kid wants a basket of puppies! But at the core of it, I have to write for me. I have to be happy with the process and proud of the product. That is the part I can control. Anything above and beyond that is a blessing.
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